His Hands in All Things

The past few weeks I have really been looking for His hand in my life. Wanting so much to believe that He has his Hand in all things. Each day and night, as I begin and end with personal prayer, I never ask for much, mostly just an extreme outpouring of gratitude for the blessings that I have. But there is always one or two specific things that I need extra strength for, either that day or the next. Well I began to focus, began to listen, to see if I matter to Him.....HOLY SMOKE BATMAN...I do!
As I began to be more aware, I noticed just how much He is in me and my families daily lives...my little life, matters to Him.
A few particular moments the past few weeks, really stand out in my mind. Abby, as I mentioned had the opportunity to perform in BYU's Christmas Around the World. The past few months had been difficult for Abby as she suffered another injury and was unable to do what she loves the most, RUN. I struggled as well for her. Wondering and feeling so helpless as her mom, to fix things and make her better. Well, after we realized her season was cut extremely short and wouldn't happen, we also realized that had she run well, she would not be able to have done Christmas Around the World, she would have been racing in California @ Footlocker. We both talked about it 2 months ago when we realized it and thought, wow. But after her experience last week, it was definitely where she was supposed to be that weekend. When she came home Saturday night after her final performance , her spirit radiated the gratitude. She expressed her love for the program and the girls in it, how amazing it was and how grateful she was to have been able to be apart of it. She awesome it was to perform for an Apostle. As i visited her dance class this last week, my breath was taken away as I watched her dance. I saw her spirit dance, her spirit moved her physical body. I saw little Abby, who years ago would dance with full confidence in herself. I saw the innocent Abby who did not question who she was...She knew who she was...it was incredible. His Hand in all things.
Now I am very hard on myself...it is a weakness I have, that Scott daily tries to repair and make stronger....but for now I am. One particular evening I was in a slum, remembering in my prayer, expressing my feelings of inadequacy in so many things...needing to feel important...wanting to know that I matter to something....The next day I got a phone call from a close friend asking for a favor...She went on to explain that her children had made their Christmas lists and that one of the things on her daughters list was, "An Apron....(made by Debi)"  WHAT!!!!! You have no idea how much that meant to me....It was a small thing, but oh how I felt so lifted. That very next hour, as dance began, my assistant came in with a cd and went on to say how her little girl had heard a song and that I should consider for our recital piece.....NOW, I fret and pray over my music for each class, I feel it should reflect the classes personality....I had already submitted it to BYU for acceptance....SOOOOO...I asked Jen what the song was and I fell over....IT WAS THE SAME SONG...NO WAY!!!!! Funny thing is, while I was listening to music, her daughter came to mind as I listened to this song and got the impression that that was the song...I needed that confirmation that it is not a fluke I am teaching in the program...He has a plan for me. THEN....same dance day....it happened....Miss Chris came to my class....Miss Chris is a retired professor/teacher from BYU. She was trained and taught at Ririe Woodbury...She was the former director of the BYU Dance program....Her granddaughter is one of my dancers...she was their to watch....I told her I was so scared to have her watch me teach....me...teach...in front of Miss Chris...AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! She gave me a hug and thumbs up and said I was wonderful. HOLY COW! really!!!!!!! Not only was this exactly what my little emotional soul needed...it has given me a new spark, to remember that things do not happen by coincidence. He has a reason for everything and everything serves a purpose for now or later. After each moment I immediately recognized His hand...
I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father. He knows that small things are important...It is just up to us to recognize them...take time to notice His hands in all things.

Hats...

First.....Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving Day. We had a wonderful day spent with grandparents, up at the family cabin. The kids love going up there, many fond memories, memories that fill our hearts with joy. We were up there again last night for Grandpa's 89th birthday....WOW! Can not believe he is 89.  My kids adore Grandpa and Reena. They share a special bond with them. Each spring we go down for Dallin's baseball tournaments in St. George and spend the week with them.  We love them and the support they give to us. They remember everything! Example, at Thanksgiving Abby mentioned she was performing in Christmas Around the World, they wanted to come but were heading out of town on a vacation that week, but yesterday when Abby walked in and sat down by them, the very first thing they asked, "Abby, how did the performance go? Was it so neat? We wished we could have seen it!" Then went on to have a lengthy conversation about how she was and then asked Dallin and Emma about the things they were doing.
They have always been like this....as was our late Grandma Darling. They kids would drop anything to go visit them and be with them, because they feel so loved by them. My children love that they are so genuinely interested in their lives. We have felt blessed to have spent the last few weekends with them.

Moving on to the reason for my post today...Hats...had a great Relief Society lesson yesterday. It started off with the question of what Hats do we wear that define you?
Well this is what went through me head, some were mentioned...
Mom
Wife
Maid
Taxi Driver
Food Prep....(I would say cook or chef...but that would be saying I could cook well...)
Nagger
Dance teacher
Coach(kinda)
Assistant to AP teachers
Visiting Teacher
RS Secretary
Okay so she went onto discuss in her lesson how the first thing we should think of is Daughter of God. Or Child of God.......
Oh boy.....
Didn't cross my mind...and I was sitting in the spirit of fast Sunday, church, Gospel learning....and I didn't think of it....
WOW!
SO we discussed why...Why as sister's in the Gospel do we not think first "I am a Daughter of God." The pressures of society place on us, even at church, how we are expected to be. How we are supposed to dress. How we are supposed to mother....How many times a week these very thoughts run through my head,
"Why am I in this calling, there are SOOOOO many other women who could do this without failing like I do."
"I am not as good as a mom as....."
"Why can't I look like her..."
"She would be way better at this than me..."
"Wow, I wish my Christmas decor looked like that."

On and On.....But guess what....none of that matters....and I need to change how I start my days....I need to stick sticky notes all over my mirror that reminds me that I am a Daughter of God. I am so grateful for Julie's inspiration for her presidency message. We all need to remember that what we do, does not define us, because at any moment the earthly things that define us can be gone in a moment. Jobs change, kids grow up, callings change, figures change, things get broken, injuries, etc.
We will always be a Child of God. No matter what fires we walk through, what roads we travel. Our Heavenly Father loves us, He loves me. I matter to Him. But with this knowledge I must also remember to reflect that love in the hats I wear. I must reflect His light in my daily life.

So I ask you, What hat will you wear first?