Blessed to be a part....

As my thoughts are focusing more on gratitude and being grateful for good things...I found myself reflecting about how blessed Abby, Emma and I are to be apart of the BYU Children's Dance Program. Every afternoon is occupied for us girls between the hours of 4-7. Dancing from the heart and being filled with the amazing spirit of dance. Being able to express ourselves through this amazing art. I look at all the many activities we are involved in...this is by far the most rewarding.
The past few years with Abby's busy schedule, we have considered not continuing for her. HOW grateful I am that we pray very hard about things, things that are important to us and decisions that can not be made on the whim...I am so busy...something must go moment. THIS MUST NEVER GO!

Each year as they perform the final concert of the year in the BYU De Jong concert hall...the spirit radiates from these girls. THERE IS NOTHING that compares to it....it is like watching a testimony through dance. It is one of the rare times I still see "My ABBY" The Abby unscathed by the hurts of the world. The Abby uninfluenced by what people think. The Abby full of life, confident in herself. A free Abby. I see her spirit and it radiates her Heavenly Fathers love for her. Emma was beautiful as her class danced as angels from heaven....breath taking. I am grateful my Heavenly Father placed this program in our path. This program is pure and beautiful.....unworldly.

Another blessing is the opportunities that come from this program. Being affiliated with BYU and the church Abby has had danced with several Delegation's from China and been able to express her testimony through dance to them.

This year she will participate in Christmas Around the World at the BYU Marriot Center, with her class. I am so grateful we follow inspiration and have made the sacrifice for these experiences. One of her pieces in the spring will be about the Civil War....I just saw the beginnings of it the other day and was brought to tears.

As for my role in the program...I feel humbled and honored to be teaching my little advanced 6 year olds...giving them an experience to love dance the way I do...to see there spirits grow from a little girls version of I love to dance...to hearing their mothers say they have a passion for what you are teaching them...they do your movement all through the house...they love Miss Debi.....and I love their sweet and open spirits, so teachable, so reachable, so mold able....Once a week I experience my own piece of heaven. I pray one day they will remember me ...Like I remember my Miss Morgan, Miss Janeen and Miss Debbie=) May the soles of your feet reach beyond the stars!

This is Abby's 13th year in  the program and will graduate from it when she graduates next year:,(. This is mine and Emma's 7th year.
This program is a tender Mercie in my life. I know the Lord provided the way for it to unfold. It has been a journey that started 20 years ago and would never imagined it would be such an intricate and  important part of our lives.

I am Blessed by this program and I hope...if you can...you will be touched one day by it too.


Abby and I...performing our dance JUST US @ BYU!  2007=)
 My Favorite Halloween Ever!!!!!

 Abby and KJ  at Sadie Hawkins 2012

Abby and Garret at Homecoming 2012

 Dallin recieving the Hope of America Award

Emma's Baptism....AWESOME!!!! 

Dallins last at bat before he broke his elbow=( ALL BETTER NOW 

Sadies group

 Emma and Hannah Best Miss and Little Miss Orem....Hannah played a piece for Emma's Baptism ....made it the perfect day=)

 Dallin and his goofy parents at 6th Grade Graduation

And last but not least...ONE GIANT MOUNTAIN FOR ABBY!!!! ALL BETTER threw her backhandspring tuck this week...mental block gone!!!!! WAHOOO!!!!!!!!

In my Children's Eye's

Greatful for this song today....It is  a family favorite. Each one of my children have brought me great joy and strength in ways nothing else could. I know my Heavenly Father is VERY aware of who I am, and loves me, by the choice and amazing spirits HE has allowed Scott and I to raise here, on this beautiful earth.
Abigail, Dallin and Emma....I love you!

In my children's eyes I am a hero


I am strong and wise and I know no fear

But the truth is plain to see

they were sent to rescue me

I see who I wanna be

In my childrenr's eyes



In my children's eyes everyone is equal

Darkness turns to light and the

world is at peace

This miracle God gave to me gives me

strength when I am weak

I find reason to believe

In my children's eyes



And when they wraps there hand

around my finger's

Oh it puts a smile in my heart

Everything becomes a little clearer

I realize what life is all about



It's hangin' on when your heart

has had enough

It's giving more when you feel like giving up

I've seen the light

It's in my children's eyes



In my children's eyes I can see the future

A reflection of who I am and what will be

Though they will grow and someday leave

Maybe raise a family

When I'm gone I hope you see how happy

they made me

For I'll be there

In my children's eyes

Months Ago....

6 Months Ago I started a post...but did not post or finish it...I wrote this...
Spending a lot of time pondering lately...pondering about my children...pondering about life....pondering about my sweetheart....pondering about time....pondering about my mountains....pondering about who I am...Some days I am overwhelmed by my thoughts...okay I am not gonna lie, most of the time I am overwhelmed by my thoughts. After conference the theme that stuck to my heart most was "Mountains"...I certainly do not pray for mountains to climb...and right now I certainly do not have the strength to pray for more than I have. But I have a picture now in my mind and heart that was not there before....eventually there is a top or peak and oh what a feeling it is when you reach the top and have overcome those tough steep climbs. As the past few months have been very emotionally challenging for me, I am climbing with faith that the Lord will accompany me and give me strength when I am lacking. As I have finished the climbs on somethings I see HIS hand in all things. For each climb has a purpose...I must remember not to give up or in and finish what He needs me to do, even though I do not understand....why me....why this....I am completely inadequate, to weak, to hurt,...He needs me to finish the climb.....so here I go continuing the climb, praying for understanding and help in all things....

Well another conference has gone by...still feeling overwhelmed and having a lot of thoughts...more along the lines of ...where have I gone...where am I...where has the person I used to be disappeared to? The influences of the outside world are breaking me in ways I was unprepared for. I never imagined people's words, could be so hurtful, there actions so painful. A couple of weeks ago I went searching for a post on Abby's 14th birthday party for a friend who need the details. I found my self hours later torn apart...Not recognizing who the person I used to be...overcome with sadness...she is lost...not because I am any less faithful to my family, church, or the Lord....because of the hardness of the people.   Emma looked at me the other night and said in her sweet, in tune voice, "Mom, why don't you smile any more....I miss your smile."   WOW! I wish I could say I didn't know...but I do...That old saying we have all heard from when we were kids..."Sticks and stones may break your bones, but names will never hurt me!" LIE! Names hurt, words hurt, and ACTIONS definitely speak LOUDER thank WORDS!   SO what to do, how to fix.....I had a great conversation with someone who I work with. He told me a story about a bucket....How full is my bucket? Well despite how full I try to fill others, mine pretty empty.   SO I begin a new chapter in my life, this week I am committing to closing old chapters and moving forward and filling my bucket as well as those around me.   I have been so blessed. I have an amazing husband, who continues to love me faithfully. 3 children I live for, would do anything for. Some close friends who keep me floating. A job. A house. A naughty dog and 3 silly ducks.   So anyhow sorry for all the honesty....Here are some fun pics about life here at the Crazilees.... or not can not seem to figure the new upload system...so next post=)