Months Ago....

6 Months Ago I started a post...but did not post or finish it...I wrote this...
Spending a lot of time pondering lately...pondering about my children...pondering about life....pondering about my sweetheart....pondering about time....pondering about my mountains....pondering about who I am...Some days I am overwhelmed by my thoughts...okay I am not gonna lie, most of the time I am overwhelmed by my thoughts. After conference the theme that stuck to my heart most was "Mountains"...I certainly do not pray for mountains to climb...and right now I certainly do not have the strength to pray for more than I have. But I have a picture now in my mind and heart that was not there before....eventually there is a top or peak and oh what a feeling it is when you reach the top and have overcome those tough steep climbs. As the past few months have been very emotionally challenging for me, I am climbing with faith that the Lord will accompany me and give me strength when I am lacking. As I have finished the climbs on somethings I see HIS hand in all things. For each climb has a purpose...I must remember not to give up or in and finish what He needs me to do, even though I do not understand....why me....why this....I am completely inadequate, to weak, to hurt,...He needs me to finish the climb.....so here I go continuing the climb, praying for understanding and help in all things....

Well another conference has gone by...still feeling overwhelmed and having a lot of thoughts...more along the lines of ...where have I gone...where am I...where has the person I used to be disappeared to? The influences of the outside world are breaking me in ways I was unprepared for. I never imagined people's words, could be so hurtful, there actions so painful. A couple of weeks ago I went searching for a post on Abby's 14th birthday party for a friend who need the details. I found my self hours later torn apart...Not recognizing who the person I used to be...overcome with sadness...she is lost...not because I am any less faithful to my family, church, or the Lord....because of the hardness of the people.   Emma looked at me the other night and said in her sweet, in tune voice, "Mom, why don't you smile any more....I miss your smile."   WOW! I wish I could say I didn't know...but I do...That old saying we have all heard from when we were kids..."Sticks and stones may break your bones, but names will never hurt me!" LIE! Names hurt, words hurt, and ACTIONS definitely speak LOUDER thank WORDS!   SO what to do, how to fix.....I had a great conversation with someone who I work with. He told me a story about a bucket....How full is my bucket? Well despite how full I try to fill others, mine pretty empty.   SO I begin a new chapter in my life, this week I am committing to closing old chapters and moving forward and filling my bucket as well as those around me.   I have been so blessed. I have an amazing husband, who continues to love me faithfully. 3 children I live for, would do anything for. Some close friends who keep me floating. A job. A house. A naughty dog and 3 silly ducks.   So anyhow sorry for all the honesty....Here are some fun pics about life here at the Crazilees.... or not can not seem to figure the new upload system...so next post=)

Perfectly

It was the crazy Tuesday Basketball games where I leave with the squad at 1:45 on the bus and Scott takes care of my normal mom duties.....I was sitting there during the games thinking about my children and how they can't even know how much I love them and want the very best for them...I saw this and it melted my heart....so true...such a wonderful thought.... So I got a phone call during the second, game it was Scott, he was frustrated with EVERYTHING, things had not gone in the planned order with the kids.He didn't know if he was going to meet me there for the final game....He came=) YAY! But he looked at me with eyes of understanding and said "I don't know how you do it! here, then there, in and out of the house, rushing from one thing to another...." He made me feel this way.... He is understanding........I love you babe!

Hello...

I know...Its has been a while...But I promised Beth I would post...so here you go. Life is like a roller coaster lately. I keep thinking...It will slow down after this week and then something else piles on to the load. I do NOT understand how we make it through each and every week....wait no I DO...PRAYER...FAITH.....TEARS......PRAYER....FAITH. I had a conversation with my very good friend who has now started working full time, after being a full time mom for 13 years. We were explaining to our husbands that while we do what we do and love our jobs....we hate them to0. We both long to be home...HOME for our children and just home. It truly brings no greater joy in my life than to be there for my children. It literally rips at my soul to miss things. To have Scott filling in where I should be. It is hard being sooooooo tired.....so tired that you tell your kids goodnight and they tuck you into bed. So many pressures from everywhere, people expecting so much. No one even thinks you struggle...EVER! Guess what....we do. We don't have it all together. In our moments by our self we cry....missing so much for things to slow down...enough to smell the roses. I have learned one thing more than ever......I am NOTHING and can accomplish NOTHING without my Heavenly Father. He has made me capable to do things I never would have thought I could do. Realizing that He has asked me to do these things and has given me the opportunity to do these things. So, I have been willing to do these things, and He directs and helps me become what I need to do and be. Therefore when I read this in one of the conference talks.....

He has given me the peace to know this, I have a very strong testimony that my most important calling in life is being a mother and that I SHOULD feel torn, it is what we as women are designed for. SO I am incredibly grateful I have never felt like, despite EVERYTHING I DO SQUEEZE IN, my children are not something I squeeze into my day. I love them with every piece of me and my soul. I do what I do for them and my sweetheart. So now that I have posted....it may be a while again....we are starting track season, baseball season, Miss Orem Season, on and on........Just know I have over 1000 pictures in my camera of our crazy life and all we do.......TOGETHER!!!!!

Phew....Made it....

The fall has been exciting....Dallin finished up his fall baseball season with the Rocks.He played super! Now he is deciding which super league team to play with in the spring=p Life's choices.....

This Picture is from Crazy Hair Day!

Cheer was in charge of the Sadie Hawkins Dance at the High School.

We chose the theme Sadie's Goes 80's.

We had a blast! The decorated great and totally got into dressing up! Seventeen Magazine Teens! HAHA Me and Emma at the Mini Cheer Night! She did a great job! Abby and my Cheerios

My JV girls decorated the house and my truck for our final home football game of the year! Such dollies! Abby did great in Cross Country this year. This is the Region race. The girls OHS Varsity Team qualified to go to STATE!=)

Top SIX VARSITY heading to UTAH STATE HIGH SCHOOL CHAMPIONSHIP!

THANKS GRANDMA AND GRANDPA T FOR COMING TO THE STATE CHAMPIONSHIP!

IT MENT SO MUCH TO ROO!!!!!!

Abby had this poster dropped of at her door the night before with gold balloons wishing her luck at state! The team did well at state took 6th. Abby moved up to the Number three spot on her team at state. Her season PR being 19:45 for her 3.1 mile. I so wished I had her state race on film she kicked in her 400 meter speed in the end and passed 10 girls in the last leg of her state race! We are so proud of her! This season was her choice, her desire, her dedication!

"To give anything less than your best, Is to sacrifice the gift!"

This is my Cheerios halftime for homecoming and the last game. Its not a great recording and the sound gets off at the end. They did great despite the cold and slippery grass! They sure work hard for me and for OHS!

Little Miss Mayor

Emma was chosen to be the first Mayor of the year for her class last week. She was chosen for her great example in leadership, learning, and following the rules. She loved it so much that she teared up knowing her term as mayor was over. We love her!!!!

This was her big birthday day! Just slow to getting around to it!Her birthday wish...Kanani!

We had to get her this chair....The chair was actually named EMMA.=)

Dallin made Emma her very own light saber. PINK! Things have been moving rapidly for our family. Dallin has been busy with baseball...Abby with cheer...Abby is doing well in cross country. She is running Varsity is top 5 for her team. Scott and I just taxi them all with luvs and hugs and enjoy this time being mom and dad. Dance starts up next week...ahhhh. Emma is now in the BYU Young Dancemakers and she gets to go twice a week! She is so excited!

Happy Anniversary to my sweetheart! Couldn't be happier! I am such a lucky ducky to be married to such a supportive, giving, loving, man! Here's to forever!!!

Oh Memmers!

Oh Emma! I Hope you know we think your are perfectly precious in every way! We hope your birthday was Perfect, Pink, and full of all your wishes coming true!!!!! Luv you baby girl!

Refining

I have the great privilege to call this beautiful creature my daughter. After her birth I felt complete and looked forward to all of the Mother/Daughter days ahead.If you know me even a little bit,you know that I love to fix things...make them better than new! It's what I do and I love it. I take pride in my family and their surroundings, keeping them safe and happy and always with freshly painted walls. I have been faced with something that this Momma just cant fix. AS hard as I want to, I just cant. I have hugged her and told her that she is beautiful , powerful and amazing, and listened as she cried. I have sat along side of her and told her it will pass and that Our Heavenly Father has great things for her to do, wether it was standing alone at times or surrounded by people who truely love her. As I watched this sweet child face one of life's lessons, I witnessed such a precious moment. In fact the greatest gift was given to me. This precious child of God...my daughter. Although it breaks my heart that I cant fix hers, I have witnessed how strong and beautiful she really is. Thank you Lord for allowing me the privilege to be her Mom and receiving one of your greatest gifts.

COOPERS RUN SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!

COOPERS RUN LINK

This sweet family has been such an inspiration to me. Losing your babies has got to be a parents/ families worst nightmare. But they have beenso strong and a living testimony of holding to the truths that we have been taught. THEY KNOW THEY ARE TRUE! They will be together forever. Thank you for letting us be apart of this wonderful tribute!

Click the link to find out more info.

Cheer Camp

SPIRIT DAY!!!!! BEACH BASH!!!! HOME DANCE COMPETITION!!!!

I have a silly daughter!!!!! She packed nerf guns for camp and brought the wagon to roam the halls in. She convinced her dad and I that we needed to bring the wagon to hall our luggage to our rooms....aaaaaa NO! So she could go shooting girls with darts! It was great to be completely honest! She made the best of friends with all the squads! Such a silly bunch! Abs in a stunt!

TOP BANANA!

The girls were amazing! Received top honors in everything! They received the UCA Leadership Award. This week was a week we grew from. We learned to forget ourselves and laugh...A LOT! We learned to fail and then to press forward and succeed! We took risks...and still will!

We are looking forward to a new year with Tiger Pride flying high!

Congrats to my girls! I am proud of you!!!!!

"Harry Potter - A Look Back"

"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2" Trailer 2

Its What Fun IS! IT IS!!!!!

Our annual trip to Lagoon!!!! One of our favorite Days of the year! Thanks for the new memories family!!!! I never thought I would hear Abby scream in terror....got to this day!!!!!!!

Happy Cha Cha To Our Papa

Happy Birthday to the man in our lives!

Your the greatest and we hope your day is Rockin!

We luv you sooooooo muches!!!

They say its your birthday so SHOUT HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!

Little Dolly! Happy Day!

I just Have to wish our abby dolly Abby Roo a big ol Happy 15!

We can not believe how fast she has grown up! Sorry it is a day late...Life has spun out of control the past week! Girl you know absolutely how amazing you are and absolutely fabulous! We live in awe of your presence and are taken back everyday that we were privileged to be chosen to be your earthly parents! Thank you for coming into our family those 15 years ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Luv you Roo! Thanks for hangin with your ol mom on your big day! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_zi4OxJpY0&feature=related This Post was three years ago when you were turning 12 and we couldn't believe it! http://crazilee.blogspot.com/2008/05/check-out-my-slide-show_5264.html ( IF you open the video and then open the music in a separate window the go together nice:) TIME IS FLYING! LIVE EVERY MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LUV YOU! FYI! Big New JOB! I was hired to be .......... OHS HEAD CHEER COACH! Go TIGERS!

Top Ten

The Top 10 reasons for lack of posts 10. End of the Year Evening of Dance rehearsals and performances at BYU. ( Abby you were breathtaking) 9. Baseball....even though it may be raining...lucky for us Dallins super league team, Smash, has a warehouse for in door practicing. 8. Miss Orem....one more week...trouble is i am in charge of that week...ahhhhhhhh 7. Final weeks of testing for all three children...final projects...final reports....missed and make up work.....ALlL 3 finishing up the year as A students with honorsand academic excellence YEA YEA YEA......The smarts are from there papa...Luv you Scott! 6. Kindergarten Play ( o Emma what would we do with out our STAR!!!!!!) 5. Sharing Showcase at BYU for Emma and MOM! Cow Girls! 4. Work...yard work...work and more work:p 3. Painting in he house here and there 2. Track Meets Go Orem! First in Region State today and tomorrow! ( Roo we are simply in awe of all that you have accomplished at the young age of 14! State Qualifier! Woot! Woot!) 1. CHEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Try Outs...Assemblies...Senior blankets.....Stunt clinics... next years uniform fittings..... AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I could have done a top 1000 but ya know off to work!!!! The weekend is among us and our baby roo is gonna be 15 in a few days. as well as officially leave the horrible halls of the jr. high...need to emotionally prepare for what lies ahead............